Siwes Chronicles: Part Three
Scratch that... Let’s talk life instead.
“Why do u even blog about lifestyle??”
“You are literally putting yourself out there.”
“People are not happy for u, dont u fear the evil eye, jealousy, envy, and the most important of them all village people.”
“Building a lifestyle blog is not a craft, its just too much exposure!!!”
Honestly didn’t think I’d need to explain my ‘why’ and though mostly these are thoughts that have swirled my head they are also things I have heard people say to me directly and indirectly.
Did I exaggerate??
Maybe a twingey tweeny tiny little bit😌
But hey where’s freedom of expression when you need it, guess its something only learnt in civic education classes. Not exactly practiced in reality.
This week was just gonna be ohh siwes went as usual, didnt do no presentation , just regular observing and attending to customers, stock management and the likes. Did it get boring?? I think so. Did I become complacent?? Prolly…
Lately, life has been like my room a little part arranged with a large area disorganized. (my beautiful chaos). I have fought so hard to not be the traditional daughter who becomes the traditional wife, feminist ideas they called it. But I honestly don’t think that’s what it is, I don’t lean towards that. I remain grounded in my femininity as a woman under the wing of Islam.
And this is why I blog…… Not for people though I really want people to read it, so ejoor, dont neglect these newsletters.
This is partly for visibility, to say hey I dont talk much, dont like to show my face but I exist and I can contribute my little quota to the world.
This is partly for people to genuinely see that life is messy, unpredictable. You just keep doing your best not necessarily getting attached to success or the failure, just the process. The journey, cos thats truly what matters.
Do I trust the process though?? Absolutely not!!
Do I trust Allah?? Yes, that I do.
That I can work with….
I cant stop living life cos of all these. I received a bad news this week, maybe one day I will talk about it. Its probably why I felt down somehow, a premonition of some kind. Weird, uuhn.
Anyways, sorrows, sorrows, prayers.
Its the life that I chose with my own hands so there’s a big consolation in that. It somehow makes it easier to bear and worth it.
I have learnt about sabr, continuously learning through this process. Opening, peeling, seeing different layers and shades to it but one thing stands through through it all for me. Sabr is not just about keeping quiet, silent, brooding, not doing anything about it and quietly breaking.
Its completely okay to be patient and still rant about it loudly… still work towards a solution. Just not remaining complacent. You can process pain and still hold on to faith.
Its really okay to not be okay.
People process pain and grief differently, some might become bitchy, some nicer, some quieter, some louder and personally for me in my journey, my little time on earth its been a mixture of both.
Live, laugh, be happy.
Here I was thinking I won’t be talking about siwes but Wednesday and Friday got interesting. During my conversations with the staff, I got deeper insights into community pharmacy and maybe, just maybe, this is where I’ll spread my roots.
Its easy to learn on slow days, you can learn without pressure. Critical thinking and fast response on busy days is like being in pct lab all over again and believe me I don’t enjoy that.
To truly live like this as the SP will be truly mesmerising. It does have it downsides however. You learn to work within the system with tools provided, constantly improving and reiterating.
My read for this week is sooo far from my previous newsletter. This week for a reason I honestly don’t understand I ended up reading “Battlefield of the mind from Joyce Meyer”. This just proves my saying of the book chooses you not the other way round.
My key takeaway from the book is that no matter your situation or problem in life, having the right mindset always always sets you free.
It might not solve the problem immediately but it will give you the courage to face it no matter what.
Life be lifing and u just choose to enjoy it regardless.
So yeah, this is literally summary of how this week went??
Maybe this is what lifestyle blogging really is. Not curated for perfection, but living through the mess with grace, humor, and faith.
How was your week, what did you learn, discard or improve on. Would love to hear your thoughts and contributions in the comment section, so dont forget to leave one or two…..
Till next time peeps,
Sending you love,
Your pharmacist-in-training,
Noorah.
It's beautiful that you mentioned why you love to write. Writing for me is a way I can have a voice. It's a way that I communicate even if i don't get a response back. It's a way I put my thoughts together. It's a way I put my ideas out even if it might not be aligned with the perspective of others. It's a way i get to check on myself, particularly my growth. It's a way I check my mindset. It's a lot of things to me. I could go on and on.
Most importantly it's my way of saying "This is what I think" in a world where the believe is that everyone should reason the same way.